Is Having A Boyfriend Embarrassing Now? A Single-In-Your-30s Girl's Glow Manual
British Vogue ran an essay last year called "Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?" and the internet nearly exploded. It got translated into six languages. Your aunt still doesn't quite understand why "men are having a moment" is a bad thing. Anyway — here's the manual.
Context: The Essay Heard Round The World
Chanté Joseph's October 2025 Vogue piece asked whether, in a cultural moment where women are increasingly happy on their own, having a boyfriend might actually be the embarrassing move. Tinder picked it up. TikTok went feral in both directions. Your group chat has been quoting it ever since.
Here's the receipts:
Hoan and MacDonald's 2024 study of 5,941 singles found that "single women, on average, report higher levels of satisfaction with relationship status, life satisfaction, sexual satisfaction, and lower desire for a partner" than single men. Single men are the ones stressed about it. Single women are at a spa.
Things You Can Do Single In Your 30s That Are Frankly Elite
1. The whole bed is yours.
Diagonal sleeping. Starfish. Memory foam you chose. No one stealing the duvet. No one snoring. Your sheets are clean because you washed them when you felt like it. Single-bed maths is undefeated.
2. Your skincare budget is unquestioned.
No one asking why you "need" a £30 serum. No one leaving their disposable razor on your side of the sink. No one using your towel. Shelf is yours. Sanctuary is yours. Our Egyptian Gold Retinol Serum is yours. Every drop.
3. Solo holidays.
You don't compromise. You go where you want. You eat dinner at 10pm because you're not hungry till 10pm. You read on the beach. You come back glowing.
4. You don't have to watch anyone's TV show.
Entire Bridgerton re-watch? Done. Love Island All Stars at 9pm sharp? Done. Nobody sighing about it. Peace.
5. Your decisions are yours.
Big ones (the flat, the job, the city). Small ones (Thai or pizza). None of them run through a committee of two.
6. Your friendships flourish.
Nothing gets left on the shelf for "couple time". You answer the call. You turn up for brunch. You know everyone's news.
The Long Game Is You
Your 30s is also when fine lines start making an appearance (annoying). The best thing you can do about it isn't a relationship — it's starting retinol now, and sticking with it.
Retinol speeds up cell turnover — which naturally halves every decade from your 20s on. Nightly use at 0.3% gives visible plumpness in 4 weeks and genuine glow in 8-12. It's the kind of compound interest that beats waiting for someone to give you butterflies.
Patch test first, SPF daily, skip retinol in pregnancy or breastfeeding.
When They Say "You'll Meet Someone When You Stop Looking"
You will. And when you do, it'll be because you've built such a nice life on your own that letting someone into it is a genuine upgrade — not a rescue. Standards: set. Options: open. Pressure: zero.
Until then, see "Things You Can Do Single In Your 30s" (above). It's a very nice list.
FAQ: Single In Your 30s
Is it actually statistically true that single women are happier?
According to Hoan & MacDonald's 2024 study of nearly 6,000 singles, yes — single women on average report higher life and sexual satisfaction than single men.
When should I start retinol?
Mid-to-late 20s is the sweet spot for preventative. 30s is when it becomes genuinely corrective. Starting now beats starting later.
What do I say when people keep asking when I'm settling down?
"I am settled. Just not down." Then change the subject to anything else. Try the weather.
Is it harder to meet people in your 30s?
Different, not harder. Apps have more serious users. Hobbies, run clubs, pottery classes — all rich with 30-something singles.
Right, Then
Treat yourself the way you'd treat your best friend. Night in with wine, scrub, and some Egyptian Gold (BOGOF all November). Elite energy.
